I'm sorry if you are feeling awkward, it sounds like you are going through a transition if you're recognizing a need to grow. That's good, right?
Do you meditate? Do you take part in something that teaches you to know yourself?
I think if you know yourself and all the things that make you who you are, if you accept them and love them then, you can do that for others.
If you have part of yourself you're denying then you can't really be present and receptive for others either, I believe.
I don't think that comes from a book, but from activity with a group...check and see if there's anything like that where you live.

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