My post clearly states there's room for improvement, or growth, as with everyone, because nobody is perfect.


And I don't understand your second question at all.


I will attempt to be more clear.


My ex bf had the potential to be awesome, but he was mediocre at best, and in the end absurdly abusive.


When I looked at him I thought, "you have a potentially bright future ahead of you, you're smart but if only you could learn to apply yourself, and acquire some drive, some motivation, some ambition". Etc etc


"You have the potential to be a great dad, once you stop partying and grow up a little"


My point being, he had the potential to be the entire package, its what kept my hope for a future with him alive, but never "grew into it". Instead his good characteristics diminished over time, so I was left with even less than what I started off with.


And no, I did not attempt to change him, or mould him into what I wanted, like I said, I saw the potential for an even better version of him, that I could build a good life with.


And that was my mistake.


So instead, I now have a bf who already is everything I want in a man. He's an awesome father to my daughter (better than her own sperm donor ever was) he's a reliable friend, a trustworthy and committed partner, he's ambitious, and knows what he wants out of life, with the drive to get it.


Obviously he's by no means perfect, but he's perfect for me.


Hope that clarifies my "Don't date potential" life lesson I learned. The hard way, might I add.