Thanks everyone. I talked to her last night, and she was frustrated with me and my ramblings, not in ME so much as what I was saying. She got worked up while I was on the phone with her. After we hung up she texted me saying she was worried she'd made it worse. I assured her she didn't that was just me...caring as usual.

On Wednesday when we talked we planned to talk again on Friday before my PDoc appt to help me gather my thoughts. She said she was glad she didn't have a job right now (unemployed & health issues) so we could talk then. She called me later that night and said she was offered a temp job that would start on Friday and didn't want to take it so we can still talk on Friday. I can't have her feeling like that. I convinced her to take the job and we talked on Thursday night instead. Friday morning I was going to wish her well with her 1st day of new job, and she texted me as soon as she got up because she was worried about me. We live far apart so phone and texting is it for us, but I don't want her not having income because she's worried about me, or not prepping for her job because she's worried about me. That's not right. Plus I have to admit, although I am not a hug sort of person, not having someone to hug or even a hand to squeeze when u feel like crap for this long is really hard. Reminds me how alone I am. Sorry to ramble.