I'm sorry. Sometimes people want so much for their reality to be their loved one's reality (or the only reality) that they try to force it. It sounds a bit like what your boyfriend is doing. If you have to pretend with someone, that means you can't really have true emotional intimacy with that person. It's hard to trust or be vulnerable when we can't be ourselves and our reality is dismissed or invalidated. Has he said things or acted in ways that make you fear you'll lose him if you don't pretend? Or is it more seeing that the current situation is untenable?

It doesn't sound like you can feel safe with him.