i actively planned my 'escape' through out from 13 years old on atleast...
my plan was complex, complicated, and near impossible because i wanted to go so far away... i wanted to escape to canada, but that adds even bigger problem - acquiring a visa... it may have been a fantasy that kept me sane, but it was something that i had notebooks full of addresses, names, numbers, prices of living, food costs, jobs, locations, things i needed to acquire a visa... on and on...

it is very hurtful when you are invalidated, when you are in pain, when you struggle and to have others tell you that nothing is wrong with you... to not get you proper treatment... maybe because they are embarrassed to even take you to a "crazy doctor"... this is neglectful... damaging... hurtful...

i know how bad you want out, to start over and forget about the past and have a better future without them... but you dont want to hurt yourself further by putting yourself in more difficult situations... with different type of pain.. because that will just add ontop of the pain that is already there... to not have anywhere to go, nothing to eat, no shelter to protect yourself from nature... no friends or no one that knows who you are or even cares about you even the slightest for that matter...

maybe i shouldnt write this, as my mind is damaged and i cant focus very well right now... but i know the feeling of wanting out... to start over, for things to just get better... but i think its a fantasy that we want, i dont know if it ever comes true...

i would say, forget what your family says, they are just their opinions and obviously they dont know anything about anything...
use what you can while you are staying with them, focus on finishing school and prepare yourself in ways that when you do leave you will have a place to stay, a job, school, money, have everything in order...
utilize what you have right now, and just distance yourself from those that dont care...

its better than sleeping outside with nothing to eat... im sorry you are hurting... i really wish you to be well and hope that you can find the strength to pull through...
like they said before, soon you will be able to see a doctor on your own and your family opinion will not matter at all...

keep yourself safe...

can spend more time here with people that do understand...