Hello bellakitten: Welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though you're just a dreamer! I know something of this because I was much the same way most of my life. (I'm an older person now.) All of my life I dreamt of travel & adventure & various kinds of wonderful things I could do. But the reality is I never did any of them. I had reasonably good paying jobs & financial as well as relationship responsibilities. So I just kept slogging along one day after another until it all began to unravel when I reached 50. Now it's too late to worry about it.

I don't know as I have any particularly great ideas for you here. It sounds as though you're perhaps struggling with a bit of depression... mostly related to the unfulfilling life you're leading. The problem is that this kind of situational depression can morph into a more generalized depression if allowed to continue over the long term.

I think what you need to do is to set a lifestyle goal for yourself, along with some intermediate objectives... steps toward achieving your goal... & start working your plan. If this just seems to be beyond your capability at this point, then perhaps you may want to seek out some counseling or individual therapy... someone who can help you to develop a plan & sustain you as you put it into practice.

The alternative, it seems to me, is to simply work on learning to accept things as they are, which may also be something that will require some counseling or therapy. Being able to accept things as they are isn't a bad plan. In fact, it can be an extremely useful skill to have; & one you may need anyway as your life progresses. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to have the kind of life you yearn to live. You only go around once, as they say...

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!