Why would I hate you for asking a question? lol

I asked the same question to the doctor, given I've never had a full blown manic episode and was under the impression that the drug is given to those with bipolar I and such...

He felt that with the intensity and frequency of my mood swings along with the episodes of depression, which come every couple of months and last for around seven weeks with suicidal ideation, that this would be effective for me.

I have tried 15 other drugs, most of them antidepressants.

I have never been on a true mood stabilizer aside from Trileptal which is not by any means a 1st line agent for treating mood swings.

I have mixed emotions about this. Obviously.

However, I am starting it tomorrow morning. While I am nervous about a lot of things (mostly the loss of myself-- the loss of my intensity, etc) I realistically don't have the time to be walking around that depressed and that impulsive. Too much to do.