I think feeling not good enough was some childhood stuff. Long story but essentially my brother was treated a lot better than me. I later found out the family I was living with wasn't my biological family and I think there was some, I dunno descrimitination. It was not good for my self esteem.

I wish I had that unconditional support within. I think sometimes I'm just an abusive a hole to myself. Maybe ten more years of therapy will fix me.