YOU, my dear, are NOT a failure. The treatment the docs have been trying on you may not have worked yet, but it's a work in progress. Go back to the hospital when you get home and let the doctors straighten everything out. Every failed attempt at properly medicating you gives them more guidance as to what doesn't work and now what to try next. I know it's REALLY hard feeling like a science experiment, but that's how treating MI goes: trial and error. Don't tell yourself you are a failure or your treatment is a failure. Every step you take with your doctors is a step forward. They will figure it out. And you WILL get better. HUGS!!!!