Flying home in 20 hours. Can't wait to go home but not looking forward to the 5 hour flight. So agitated, being trapped in a big tin can sends me wild. Trying to find joy in my last night. My parents have been so understanding. I have been so inpatient and low. No joy yet. Sydney is an amazing city I just cannot enjoy it. Hate bipolar so much right now and hate myself. Feel so fat, ugly and unwantable.