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Jun 18, 2016, 02:15 AM
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: Trying to move out of AZ
Posts: 101
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I know I shouldn't comment on this because I am SO not where you are in life... But you're really funny and clearly intelligent.
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Awww... thanks. I try to maintain a decent sense of humor (I'm a big fan of comedy), and I'm probably a bit better written than I am outright intelligent. I try to be knowledgeable about what's important to me at least.
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Is it possible that women assume that you're already taken?
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Hmmmm... perhaps, but I kinda doubt it. Over the past six years or so, I've gotten pretty good at dropping into conversation that I'm single... and looking. Everyone in my social/work circle is pretty onto that. My social circle is mostly guys too, so it's usually two or three of us when we go out, or often me flying solo which I'm confident and comfortable in doing. Other than my designated concert buddy who's a (platonic friend) girl, there shouldn't be any women there to throw off the taken vibe. I make sure not to wear ANY rings, even on the right hand.
And that doesn't explain online dating either. I mean, there you've got an environment where people you know you're single and that's kinda the point of it. My biggest frustration with the quote/unquote "real world" is that so many people end up being taken. That's more the situation than anything else. Every time a new girl got hired for work, it was only a matter of time until you found out she had a boyfriend or husband. Now that I'm working on contract, and living sober, I don't really go out for much anyway. Like my username states, I'm fairly burnt out.
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Typing that, I realize how dumb it sounds. But I have been wondering about "vibes" a lot lately. You sound very date-able to me, which is a creepy and inappropriate thing for me to say. I'm going to go ahead and shut up now.
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No, that's okay. I'd like to think I was date-able... at least give-a-chance-able... Four-dollar-cup-of-coffee-able...
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When I was reading your reply I remembered seeing a former professor of mine online looking for other people for a Meetup group. He's really handsome, but the picture he posted made him look stern and unapproachable. The guy is a genius, but he doesn't do 'normal' very well.
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Yeah, it's funny. I tend to get along with everyone, across a broad intellectual range, most any age group... well, anyone who wants to get along with me anyway. We had a few awkward lab guys at work like that, one was a Mensa member, another was the scientist that found proof of water on Mars.
I can do the Meetup groups, but they just don't harbor the kind of people I click with: potential friends / musicians / dating material. It's hard to explain, because like I said, it may be a local phenomenon, but a lot of the people are just “awkward” (like your friend mentioned above) for lack of a better term. They kind of feel more like support groups for hobbyists than the kind of environs you meet like-minded people in... and a lot of the “social” groups felt like self-imposed socialization sessions filled with workaholics and BPD/antisocial types.
That's the problem with “activities” in general. There's an element of ulterior motive to it, and I'm not the better for it if I'm going to an activity because in the back of my mind I'm trying to hitch a girlfriend. For instance, I've done the open-mic night group a few times, but once I got the gist that my original-material guy who makes prog metal with computers didn't make for conversations that went anywhere with the bedroom acoustic players doing 1990s radio ballad covers, I just cut out after a couple of sessions.
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You sound perfectly fine. Some lucky girl will grab you up. I don't have any idea why the girls are not responding to you. They don't even answer your emails?
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99.9% of the time: No. That 0.1% of the time I'll get an uninspired/short reply and/or a subsequent exchange that'll fizzle out after a couple of messages. Over the last ~6 years, I've gone on four dates total. Three out of the four emailed me first. That's pretty much the only way I've been able to even get a chance to go out with someone. That said, it's going on three years since I've had a date... at all... 
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Is there any attractive girl you come into contact with who you'd like to just try asking out?
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No. I'd love to have an opportunity like that, but I don't know or interact with anyone who's single other than a couple of guy friends. That's the crux of the whole situation. Like I said above, I've gone through the motions of polling my friends and they come up empty handed.
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Are you saying something awful in your dating profile?
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If there was something awful in there, I've tried so many versions of them over the years, there had to be one at some point that didn't have it in there sheerly by iterative trial-and-error. I dunno. I can post the last active one up for review if any of you would think it could help. I've been through the profile-by-committee a number of times before and it's done no good. I've syntax copied profiles that guys SWORE were great and getting them dates, and nada.
Last edited by Burnt_Out; Jun 18, 2016 at 02:33 AM.
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