my current situation isn't what I was talking about, but basically my husbands been arrested, all my children have been questioned by police, I don't really want to talk more about that on this thread, I have another thread that has that information.. as explaining that is what I've been doing all day to family... my first boyfriend, things got so bad so much faster I figured he already was not very nice, he progressed alot with me from emotional to physical abuse, I was the first women he ever hit, so I feel like maybe I changed him from just a mean jerk into an abusive jerk, I felt like that ever since I found out he's abused women since I left.. alot faster then with me... my second serious boyfriend whom I married I saw past all "type" regulations thinking my "type" is clearly defective (I had boyfriends in-between they just weren't serious and also were all jerks even faster then my first bf) and he wasn't fake like the others, from the start the others only ever said nice things where as he.. said nice, and stupid things that probably should have earned him a playful slap (if I believed in hitting people) I was upfront with him about everything, before we started seeing each other, maybe I should have been less trusting? (but trusting is my nature) i told him what was and was not acceptable to me, and for 6 years I believed he was keeping that trust, as clear as he could (because I had a few things that even I thought where on the verge of crazy I over looked those) that is 6 year of lieing.. how can someone lie about everything for that long, unless I changed them? or unless I'm just really not supposed to be happy? maybe I'm just here (on earth) to weed out bad people have them arrested and never really stay happy?