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Regretably, I have little free time this morning so I'm going to have to make this quick...
TroubledSon, I'm going to open my remarks by noting that I am not a professional. What I am, is someone who has gone through the experience that is called psychosis/schizophrenia in this culture. When I speak, it's as a peer, not a professional. When I hear, it's also as a peer.
Obviously, there is a lot going on with your son. If he hadn't already been given a label of "mentally ill" we might describe him as someone who was going through a form of personal crisis. The questions are why? Why now? And, what can be done to help?
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A person receiving a diagnosis of schizophrenia loses hope and enters a state of anguish caused by an experience of meaninglessness, hopelessness and helplessness. Much of this hopelessness is not due to the disease but to the mental health systems designed to treat it. Mental health systems are set up for maintenance and usually communicate that life is without hope of significant accomplishment once serious mental illness has set in. Yet, experience shows that recovery from mental illness is possible.
-- Dr. Edward Knight</font>
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That quote is lifted from one of my favorite discussions in this forum. I suggest you familiarize yourself with it:
Schizophrenia & Hope. I also suggest you become familiar with this one:
Voices of Recovery. I further suggest that you print those off and
give them to your son to read. Just because he's not talking doesn't mean he's not there.
My son does not even want to acknowledge his diagnosis. When I try to make telephone calls on his behalf to get him services, he is beside me raising objections every time I must tell them my son is mentally ill or schizoaffective.
Did you notice that you son objects to being labelled as "mentally ill" or "schizoaffective"? Good for him, is all I can say. Often, one of the first things that has to happen for a person in recovery is to develop the belief that recovery is a viable option. Too often, that's not the message they receive from those around them.
I regret that I have little time to offer much more but, I will note that you seem to have developed some sets of expectations. Your frustration and disappointment at the moment is related to the fact that your expectations haven't been met. This speaks to your need for support and understanding so it may be worth your while to seek that for yourself. However, that hardly begins to address what your son may need. There are two separate streams of need to consider.
Some final food for thought...
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... I had to recall what I had learned in my own analysis when I had been training, shortly after I had begun to work with my first cases under supervision. I was, like all neophytes, exceedingly eager to achieve a successful outcome and I tended to become quite active in leading, rather than gently guiding the process. My training analyst had gently tried to restrain me, but when that failed she shocked me one day by saying, "You are not supposed to want the patient to get well!"
At first, I could not quite believe this, for I surely did not understand her meaning. But gradually as it sank in I was able to see that if I acted out of my desire to heal the patient, I was setting myself up as the miracle worker. I would be doing it for my own satisfaction, for the joy of success, and possibly, for the approval of my training analyst. My own needs would be in the foreground then, and the patient's needs would revert to the secondary position. Besides, <font color=red>the possibility for healing lies in the psyche of the patient, the place where the disunion or split exists</font>.
The psyche, as Jung has taught, is a self-regulating system, containing within it all the elements which are necessary both to produce a neurosis and to transform the neurosis into a constructively functioning attitude. If I, as analyst, impose my concepts of the direction into which the outcome should be, I am doing violence to the potential unity of the patient's psyche. My task is to use myself as a vehicle for clarifying the patient's dilemmas and for helping her learn to interpret her unconscious production. My task is not to contaminate the analysis with my own problems. And it is for this reason that I constantly need to be aware of my own needs and my own biases.
Source: Boundaries of the Soul: The Practice of Jung's Psychology
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I sincerely hope you're able to find the support you need so you're able to support your son the way he needs.
See also: Dr. Al Siebert: A Special Message for Family & Friends