I agree so much with what everyone says. I, too, had to get as far away from my mother as I could. In fact, I moved to Spain for a year so that she would stop calling me on the phone all the time. This was when phones were a big deal and a transatlantic call cost the earth. We didn't have a phone in Spain anyway.

It is really hard to get our parents out of our heads.

I also agree that our parents don't always know what love is. Perhaps our society doesn't do a very job of defining it or teaching us how to envision what it means, especially in terms of behaviors toward those we presumable love.

This is a very interesting thread. Lots of insightful ideas. Don't give her space in your head and heart, Nightdream.