I was diagnosed with chronic major depressive disorder. I am sure depression runs in my family (suicides of very close relatives). I am 50 and have done a lot of living. I was not diagnosed until a few years ago. My depressive episodes were triggered by my very difficult relationships with my mother and husband.

That being said:
I have always had inseparable best friends. They tend to be quirky, misfit people. I like and amuse myself. My sense of humor guides me. I have always had dates, boyfriends, a man in my life since I was 16. I have had best friends lose contact with me because we moved away. I have had on again/off again friends and lovers.

This last year, I went through a depressive crash and isolated myself from people. I watched a lot of TV! But now I've bounced back.

I have made new great friends in my adult life. Thanks to Facebook, I have reconnected and kept friends from childhood.

I am a fun, adventurous person. I love living. People are drawn to me. I am a community leader.

There is also a very dysfunction, dark underlying illness within me. I know it. I am aware of it and understand it. It might have been caused by some bad things that happened to me and/or by hereditary. I try my best to cope and control my choices.

This forum helps. Taking Cymbalta helps. Studying psychology and reading articles posted online PsychCentral helps. Talking to therapists has not helped me. I did not have good experiences and I can't handle spending the money on myself that it would take to get help. I am too cynical to trust them. I have had such bad experiences with them. I am doing better helping myself now.