Hi, everyone!

I am new to posting in this forum. I have an extensive background of every kind of abuse you can imagine. Throughout my entire life. I am 31 now. I have only been to a few psychotherapy sessions in my life. Just recently, as a matter of fact. However, I am starting with a new therapist in a couple of weeks from now. Really looking forward to that since it will focus mainly on the most bothersome of all of the abuse I have suffered.

My question to everyone is I know I have heard that women tend to pick mates based of what their father's were like while they were growing up. Maybe, that is how I ended up with so many of the men that i did. I am recently divorced but the guy is living with me again. He is not working. Nor making any effort in that direction. I have had 3 hospitilizations since the first of this year. I am now not working either. I am on disability and I don't plan on going back to work any time soon. My check, just barely covers the rent. For the whole of this relationship, I have carried the brunt of the load financially. He is an alcoholic, and abusive. not so much physically, although that has happened just not really badly like you see on tv and such, where they put the women in the hospital... there is just too much he does to me psychologically to be able to put it down here in words....

I really think he plans on living off my check as much as he can. He'll get a job. it'll be very part time. He'll spend all of his checks on music equipment, beer, and whatever else he thinks he needs for himself. Maybe, I'll be able to get a few dollars for gas out of him, but that will be about it I think.

My question is --should I continue living with him in this manner? my plan is tenatively now, to keep him in the house--get whatever I can out of him--if he does get a job--make him pay 1/2 the rent. That way, I can save 1/2 my check each month-- through the winter months. I am waiting on a medicare reimbursement check. When, i get that-- just hang on to it--then I will have that money too--along with my next month's disability payment-- at the very least it works out to be about 1200.00. and could be as much ( if he gets a job relatively soon) as--2600.00-- in my pocket to move on. Or, do I get a cheaper renting situation by myself? I could only maybe find a rental about 1/3 cheaper than what I'm paying now. If, I'm lucky.

I think, I just answered my own question. I'll get the cheaper rental. It's worth it to not be so stressed out. I just have no way to move my furniture. If, I leave the house, he'll have to do something to take care of himself. Guess, I just needed to write it all out in front of me for it to make sense. No one need reply if you don't want.

Peace and Love,
Bri7