Melissa Ann,

What everyone is telling you here is right. It sounds to me like this guy has a lack of committment to you if he will talk for hours to some woman who says she loves him. I come from the opposite end of the story...

I have been in love with this guy for like 10 years. We were best friends all through high school, but then he went on a mission for his church that took him away for two years with only letters as contact. He wrote very regularly and said he loved me and all that, but we have never been in a "relationship." Just had some mutual feelings that we never quite co-ordinated. Anyway, he came home and we went to different colleges and haven't been in touch that much. I still love him so deeply and I probably always will. We had a special once-in-a-lifetime kind of friendship. HIs parents even called me their daughter. And he took me to his family's Thanksgiving last year.

This year, he met a girl in the city he's living in and started dating her casually. He still kept in touch with me, as friends, as always. But the more serious he got about her, the less I heard from him. As soon as he started talking serious committment with her, things were never the same between me and him- and you can bet neither of us was saying "I love you" either! He married her in September. I haven't seen or heard from him since the day before his wedding, and even then all talk was about her.

That is the way it is supposed to be. As much as it hurts me, this new girl is his life partner. She will be raising his children. She will be his number one priority forever. And it is my job to disappear and be nothing but a face from the past. And it is HIS job to respect the bond he has with her, and not desire to maintain an overly close relationship with another woman- even me, someone he has grown up close to his entire life. Things are as they should be.

This man in your life should be doing what my friend has done. He should be maintaining only friendly, distant contacts with the female friends in his past- absoultely NO "I love you"s or long phone calls. He should be especially careful around anyone that their is a history with. If he was committed to you, he'd be doing that on his own.

He's not worth your time, honey. Devote your life to this child until you find the man who can really give you and your child what you need and deserve.

Good luck to you! ((((hugs))))

Angela