Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa
Yes. What a positive attitude! I truly do believe that getting through this would make you the strongest person you know! Unless people have experienced depression and/or agitated depression they absolutely cannot understand how difficult it is. I also have been doing the "keep busy" thing and yes, it does help a little. I am also making written contracts with myself to stay away from depressive thoughts for 24 hour periods. This is weird, I know, but I promise myself (in writing) that I will do everything in my power to behave like my "old" self, who was much hardier and more resilient than my present self.
I had to take my old truck to my mechanic today and am looking at possibly $600 in repairs! Yikes! (I was procrastinating going to the mechanic but I am moving in two weeks...so could no longer procrastinate.) I knew it was going to be harrowing (and expensive) to see my mechanic so I wrote up my contract to remain emotionally regulated no matter what. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to punch my way out of a dark little box. I am going to do it!!!
So, now I am using 24 hour written contracts with myself to do everything in my power to stay positive.
Let me know if you try the energy drinks with taurine. Make sure you look on the can because not all energy drinks have taurine. I might give it another try.
Take care.  |
Wow! The 24 hour contract thing sounds super positive but really really difficult. I don't know if I could successfully do that! I have trouble staying away from the negative thoughts for even a few minutes. My depression came back three years ago after a long remission and was kicked off by a professional career rejection. It's kind of hard to explain but I got this short term gig, that I KNEW would likely not turn into a long term gig, but when it ended after six months and I didn't get to do it anymore I was so devastated that I went into a deep hole. Now, every morning I wake up thinking about how I'll never get to work on anything as fun and rewarding ever again. I wake up with pictures in my head of the people who rejected me--some of whom still get to work on the project--I just have this running slideshow in my head about all of the stuff that I miss and all of the things I'm missing now by not getting to participate. I'm so habituated to thinking about this first thing in the morning now I'm afraid it will never go away. I just wake up with the slideshow running in my head and I think: "That was the best time of my life, and it's OVER. Nothing will ever be that good again." And I have this squeezing in my heart and chest and I spend the next 6-12 hours trying to get out of the hole.
This morning I went to a crazy intense yoga class--much harder than the ones I normally go to and finally by the end of the class some of my stress was gone, but I have to work SO HARD to reduce it. I can't get to yoga every morning because I work and have a kid, so it's not a long term solution that I can go to every day.
Going to try taurine tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for writing back about this. So sorry about your truck!!!
