Wow! The 24 hour contract thing sounds super positive but really really difficult. I don't know if I could successfully do that! I have trouble staying away from the negative thoughts for even a few minutes. My depression came back three years ago after a long remission and was kicked off by a professional career rejection. It's kind of hard to explain but I got this short term gig, that I KNEW would likely not turn into a long term gig, but when it ended after six months and I didn't get to do it anymore I was so devastated that I went into a deep hole. Now, every morning I wake up thinking about how I'll never get to work on anything as fun and rewarding ever again. I wake up with pictures in my head of the people who rejected me--some of whom still get to work on the project--I just have this running slideshow in my head about all of the stuff that I miss and all of the things I'm missing now by not getting to participate. I'm so habituated to thinking about this first thing in the morning now I'm afraid it will never go away. I just wake up with the slideshow running in my head and I think: "That was the best time of my life, and it's OVER. Nothing will ever be that good again." And I have this squeezing in my heart and chest and I spend the next 6-12 hours trying to get out of the hole.

This morning I went to a crazy intense yoga class--much harder than the ones I normally go to and finally by the end of the class some of my stress was gone, but I have to work SO HARD to reduce it. I can't get to yoga every morning because I work and have a kid, so it's not a long term solution that I can go to every day.

Going to try taurine tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for writing back about this. So sorry about your truck!!!