Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday107
Hi sweetie, I have read your posts and you are SO strong, including being a committed mom.
That sucks that the father of your child is sentenced for so long - and it is a long time - but it isn't forever. I'd recommend that you keep on doing as you are, staying clean, loving yourself and your child. Having one solid loving parent is more than I had. I had two broken ones, one very abusive and one an active addict where I just had no place in his life. I'd have taken one good parent in a heartbeat.
Just keep on, one day at a time. It is ok and will continue to be ok. xo
PS: Give it time, your child is young, and you can later decide about his role in your child's life. That does not need to be decided right now!
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Awww, THANK YOU so much for your kind words. I am really trying to be the best mom that I possibly can. I totally understand what you are saying about having one good parent over none. My father is an addict (somewhat sober now but as a child, it was absolute insanity in my life) and my mother was completely lost, trying to find a man or whatever to make herself feel complete. All the while, no one is paying a damn bit of attention to me basically having a nervous breakdown at 9 years old due to the stress of my father's addiction. So even though my parents "loved" me, neither one of them did much as far as raising me.
I have had to come to terms with all of this over the last year. At the age of 19, I discovered xanax. This was basically the answer to all of my prayers after dealing with my Dad being sent to prison because he robbed a bank...on my 18th birthday...and we come from a small town where it was THE topic of conversation in 2003. Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy, but I CAN'T make this ***** up! Lol. Xanax, Cocaine, Ecstasy, and Oxy dominated the next ten years of my life. The only way that I was ever going to recover, was to face these demons that have haunted me since childhood. In doing so, I came to terms with a lot of things that I DO NOT agree with when it comes to how my parents dealt with everything when I was a kid. I don't want to criticize them now, but I have to be aware of the bad parenting in order to be a good parent.
Being the child of an addict and then becoming an addict happens, but trying to recover and prevent the vicious cycle from repeating itself is my main concern.