Yes, the emptiness is devastating.

Mouse, allow yourself the anger. Get a ziplock bag and fill it with ice cubes. Wrap it in a towel and smash the %#@&#! out of it.

In a way, I think it's ok that you are feeling this anger. I distance myself from my anger too much and then internalize it and take it out on myself. It feels somehow like a moment of growth, but I can't put my finger on it. It's as if something is brewing or stirring inside you?

You have such a solid relationship with T, I'm sure she can take it!

Take care.