Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
OR maybe - young rainbow is still whining because she still hasn't gotten enough. I don't like (I've done it too) that we are willing to accept crumbs really - "just let me love you, you don't even have to love me back." That's what the emailing sounds like to me - let me love you, and give me enough of a response that I can pretend to myself that you love me too. I will do this instead of changing, instead of facing that emptiness. T is saying, no deal. We need to face that moment of emptiness. Face whatever is in it.
It's kinda chicken or the egg - does the emptiness fade when we've gotten enough?
|
I would say yes the emptiness fades. But only if we truly grieve what you missed / lost, and willingly accept something else in its place. Like I have dental prosthetics which are amazing and far superior to my natural teeth which were stripped of enamel. But before u could get them I had to have my natural teeth extracted and let the surgery site heal. The implants needed a well healed place to.take root.
Likewise I think we never really absorb anything Intl that empty space until the wound is healed. My T pointed out on Friday that while I am now willing to acknowledge that she is telling the truth when she says she loves me I then say something to the effect of " but I'm still worthless because that's not the same as your parents loving you!!"
She says when I heal I will be ready to accept and acknowledge that they didn't love me, and I will stop making that wound so "unique" that no other love can fill it. The world, she says and I agree, is overflowing with love. There is more than enough love to fill me up, but it needs a healed, tended place to root itself