Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I appreciate all the replies and will answer each separately this time.
lola: I'm smiling because your responses are usually accurate even when I don't like them. I realize there is an angry child part, as well as one who is hurt. You're not off base at all. But there is also a part who doesn't understand the reasoning behind the necessity to stop the emailing. That part honestly believes it's okay to have that kind of relationship with my T. The younger parts WANT it and are protesting, but the older part says "why not?" in a curious way. Probably my adult Self does know it's best to pull away from my T, but she's not ready to disregard the other parts. But, yes. the child part is still very attached to T. At my last session, we had to stop and I said in that whiny voice "It's not fair! We started 3 minutes late." Which was true but the next client was waiting. So T repeated "it's not fair" and I kept talking on the way to the door. Life isn't fair. My adult Self knows that, and knows maybe my T is right. If something happened to her now, I'd be stuck with wanting those emails. But what about real life? We don't have to deal with tragedy until it comes. We don't stop communicating with someone or loving them because they might die. I don't understand why therapy is different.
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Its different because in therapy we are supposed to be learning and growing. That's the point.
My T likens it to having to say "no" to her sons when she has to say "no" to me or tell me to try something on my own. Her younger son is very sensitive ( he's 12 and still asks her to lie down with him and read him stories before bed when he has had a hard day). If he had his way always shed ALWAYS be helping him. She says it hurts to say no especially if he gets emotional but its her job to help him learn to BE AT PEACE in the world and that means learning how to be both depend any AND independent. Its her job as a parent even though its emotionally tough on both of them. And it's her job as a T to help me learn so I can be at peace also. Which means sometimes doing hard stuff