Today was a bad day.

Actually it started this past Wednesday during my last T session. We've been working on reintegrating my little girl. I was abused by an uncle and all but physically abandoned by my parents.

I was able to block it all out until my first depressive crash a few years ago. But with therapy it has come rushing back and I am now beginning to experience the emotions from my childhood and it hurts.

On top of that I have probably lost a close friend; not just a close friend but the only one I trusted with my story. We had a misunderstanding, I kept trying to explain, but she was too hurt. I was in a bad place at the time and trying to explain to her how something she said could be interpreted by people with mental health issues, but that I understood what she meant.

We took a break from each other for a few weeks but things seemed strained between us.

It's so much fun dealing with abandonment while being abandoned yet again. I don't think I can take it again. It already hurts too much. I've been crying all day.