I went to this recovery group for the first time tonight. I thought I could work through some codependent issues. Well everyone went around and shared there story or at least a small part of it. I did share very small ammount. After the group is over we all eat and get to know each other. NOT. Everyone sat in there little clicks and no one invited me in. Not even any of the other new people. I felt like I was in high school again. Very alone and abanded. I finally just got up and left. I am not going back. No one wants me there obviously. This stupid group made me hate myself. I want to $#@!@#$ SI so bad right now. So close. NO NO NO NO NO. You don't want to go back to this. You will lose to much from one incident. Not worth it. NO NO NO. Cope me cope. AAHHHHHHH. Hun you don't have to see thoes people ever again. You are better than them. You know we can get through this togeather. Just keep your head on straight. What can you do. I can paint, sew, watch tv, music, clean. I dont want to I just want to SI. Where is that going to get you hun. Hospital, Feeling guilty later on, people that really do care being mad. I want to be in the hospital no one can hurt me there. That is not true just because you are locked up don't mean you can't be hurt. OK I can get through this I just got through a week of hell. I need to play a computer game that will help. I think I will play Zuma. Thank you for helping me. I will talk later if I need more help.