I can definitely empathize with the desire to email T between sessions in order to maintain that closeness. I know everyone is different but, in my experience, the only way to grow and learn to self-soothe is to simply DO it-- even when it's hard. When my T went on medical leave for a few months with no contact, that's when I had to learn to be okay without any reassurance or support from T. It wasn't planned and there wasn't any warning. It just happened. Going 2 months without contact from her taught me to rely on myself, and showed me that the world didn't end when I couldn't contact my T. Now that she is retired, we text maybe every two weeks and see each other once or twice a month. Now that I'm used to it, i almost don't recognize the "old" me who struggled to wait in between weekly sessions. I will say, though, that the change would have been easier if I had chosen to do it gradually, before my T's health "made" it happen. That's why I would really encourage you to try to do it now. You really will feel more self-reliant and confident if you initiate the change and take ownership of it. I'm so much happier now that I've taken the reigns and no longer feel the need for my T. I think you might feel the same way if you start making yourself self-soothe and realize that you can do it. You've made so much progress over the last couple of years, I really think you're ready to stop emailing between sessions. Making these transitions slowly and gradually will be so much easier than going cold turkey the day you "have" to quit. It will also give you the chance to be in charge of the process, rather than feeling like it is happening to you, which could make you feel out of control.