Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
Its different because in therapy we are supposed to be learning and growing. That's the point.
My T likens it to having to say "no" to her sons when she has to say "no" to me or tell me to try something on my own. Her younger son is very sensitive ( he's 12 and still asks her to lie down with him and read him stories before bed when he has had a hard day). If he had his way always shed ALWAYS be helping him. She says it hurts to say no especially if he gets emotional but its her job to help him learn to BE AT PEACE in the world and that means learning how to be both depend any AND independent. Its her job as a parent even though its emotionally tough on both of them. And it's her job as a T to help me learn so I can be at peace also. Which means sometimes doing hard stuff
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This reminds me of what my marriage counselor has said about his kids (both teens now) and how that relates to some of my wants/needs regarding him (due to transference and stuff). He said at one point, when his daughter was younger and involved in an individual sport that required lots of practice, he would drop her off there, and she'd call a bit later, feeling anxious and wanting him to come get her. But he'd say no, that she had to talk to people there instead, because if he just came and got her then she wouldn't learn she could handle it on her own.
I know it's hard though--I'll often e-mail my T after a session, too, if I had some more thoughts. She used to not usually respond (that was kind of our agreement). And then a few times in a row, she did respond, just a few sentences, but still something. So then the next time, a couple weeks ago, I felt a bit weird about our session (like she was irritated with me), then sent her a couple long e-mails, partly about that, and partly about other things (including something with MC). Which she of course did not respond to, which made me upset and worried, so I waited a couple days, then texted her, to see if she was annoyed/tired of me/etc.. She was like, "I don't know what 'weird vibe' you were talking about during the session, and I often don't respond to e-mails, so that's nothing different." She didn't seem to get why I needed her to respond to one of *those* e-mails in particular. Which then made me feel like she didn't get me. But by the time of our next appointment, I had lots of other stuff unrelated to her that I needed to talk about, so we discussed it very briefly, then dropped it. But I chose not to e-mail her this week because I didn't like the wondering if she'd respond. So I get it...
