One thing I pick up on from you - and I know I may be totally wrong - but it seems like emailing your t is an all or nothing deal for you. As in, you either have to stop emailing her altogether or you have to email her weekly for the rest of your time together. Why not just take it week by week? See how you feel about emailing her each week as you move along. You trust your t, so try to trust her process, accept where you are at in that process, and maybe your worries will lessen.