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I was writing in my journal beforehand about the idea of stopping not for myself, but for T.... But it's sort of scary to me that when T asks me to promise not to do it, I don't. I guess you could say that's good for behavioral purposes, but that's not how I operate, lol. It's just amazing how much of a force he is in my life-- that I feel as though I am changing this behavior right now not so much for me, but more for him.

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pink, I think our therapists are there for us to use in any positive way we can. If you can stop SI-ing because your therapist wants you to, then use that motivation for all it's worth! I think the closeness of the therapy relationship is a powerful force that can be used to motivate change.

For example...
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Then he asked, "Could you please not SI tonight?"

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If my T asked me this, I would probably never be able to say no. I would just do it because of our closeness and our relationship. His request would show how much he cared for me, and to say no to him would show I did not reciprocate. And I do. Does that make sense?

That is so great you were able to control your SI behavior Wednesday night.