I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. And I'm not even sure what by. It just feels like there is so much pressure on me to be better and I'm getting nowhere. I can't handle it.

I met up with some old friends yesterday, hadn't seen some of them since new year. Some I hadn't seen for years... They all have their successful lives, jobs, partners, homes, independence. I had all that once but now I have nothing. And when they all asked me how I was, what I'm doing with my life I just had nothing to say.

The future is terrifying. I don't see a future. And working towards a future just seems ridiculous. I don't have the words to try and explain it.