I was (am) jealous of everything when it comes to my (now deceased) T. His family, his friends, his other patients, the inanimate objects surrounding him. And also of his skills, abilities, gifts, powers, social circles etc etc.

Discussing transference with him was quite complex. It brought about another intimacy to the relationship which was gratifying but perhaps also destructive (still a professional relationship etc). I think it made a difference to me that he did not feel at all offended by it and that he did not judge me any worse a person for it. I think this lead me to be able to accept this aspect of myself. (I have a history of obsessive-type transference). He questioned my insistence that someone infatuated was necessarily inferior to whoever he/she was infatuated with. The idea that such feelings rendered me worthless was definitely weakened.

I think a T who can hear a patient discussing these feelings and NEITHER encourage them (which would be seductive) NOR reject the client by expressing any condemnation or aversion, would be handling the situation very well.

There are drawbacks and disadvantages and troubling aspects to transference but on the whole this therapeutic relationship DID save my life. So, I appreciate IDidItMyWay's perspective - one which appreciates the destructive potential here - but also the beneficial aspects.