CriesAndGoodbyes: Interesting that you mention sadism. This is a word that has come up for me a lot lately when reflecting on my last long term therapist.. I plan to update the Yelp review I wrote, and was going to use that very word to convey the cruelty of the experience.

Confusingly though, it was probably not intentional. More like a child wielding a powerful weapon she did not understand. However, probably a lot of semi-conscious seduction (another key word for me, that you also mention) and provocation. When the client is obsessing or longing for the therapist, the focus is always on what is driving the client. Meanwhile the therapist might well be fueling the whole thing with her/his own insatiable needs. My T was practically giddy at times from my adoration and desire for her.

As for initial speeches about transference, etc. I've never been given this sort of informed consent with any of the 20 or so therapists I have tried or worked with.