I am confused about my identity too. T3 says she is talking to "me" and I want to know which part she is talking to. She has lots of experience with DID so she gets that there are parts. I just keep going to t, figuring it will all sort out some day. I do not have a clear "host".
What I do have is separate parts that I am growing more and more aware of. In a given situation I can understand what two or more parts are feeling and sometime why they feel that way. Like when someone is rude to me, I can feel anger from my adult part that keeps the boundaries, fear from the child that needs to please, hurt from the child who is trying to please, defiance from one of the teens...
It used to be that when I dissociated I didn't realize it. It was quite confusing to the people around me, though. It was 4 years into therapy when my pdoc suggested DID, and then I was tested. I didn't know much about it at all.