Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpiosis37
It happens to me on a daily basis and it is the bane of my existence. I HATE it. It's so rude, intrusive, and sometimes really scary.
Just this Friday, I arrived at a restaurant to go on a date, and I got there first so I was alone at the table. A guy maybe 50 or 60 years old (I'm 31 and look younger) came up to me and he asked if he could sit down at my tabl! I said "no, I'm on a date." Instead of leaving, he stood there and tried to make conversation with me. I politely asked him to leave, and he said "geez, I was just trying to be friendly" and rolled his eyes at me. He acted as though he were entitled to my time and attention, even though he was intruding and bothering me! I was trying to keep an eye out for my date, since it was someone I was meeting for the first time, and he was blocking me from being able to see the entrance and making me nervous and uncomfortable. Finally, my date got there, and she sat down next to me. Twenty minutes later, the guy came back around and tried to insert himself again!
Then, on the way from the restaurant back to my car, when I was alone again, two men approached me and said "where are you going looking all dressed up and beautiful." I ignored them and tried to walk as far away from them as possible, and they just kept calling after me. It scared me because it was after 10pm and dark out.
I've been told before that because I'm young, thin, and pretty, I should "expect" this behavior. I disagree. No one should be stated at or harassed, no matter what she looks like or what the circumstances are. When I'm in public, I want to be left alone by strangers so I can see the people I came there to see or do the errands/activities I am there to do. I am not an object and it is not my obligation to attend to the wants or egos of the men who also happen to be there. It is my right to be left alone.
FYI: the comments about race on your post come across as racist/offensive, so you might want to delete those. Your point comes across without bringing race into it.
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Wow, sorry to hear that! That is very rude, intrusive, and scary! You politely but firmly let those guys know that you didn't want to talk to them, so it's stupid that they'd be offended by that. That first guy has a real problem as he still pestered you after you made things clear to him. Maybe you should've taken it a step further and have the manager or one of the bouncers tell him to leave you alone or risk being kicked out for bothering you.
I'd do that the next time a guy bothers me when I'm somewhere I want to be left alone. That hasn't happened to me in a long time, but I've had some guys tell me some wildly inappropriate things when they were drunk. They were guys who I barely knew who knew that I'm married, and yet they still touched me and propositioned me for sex, at least two of them did, ugh! I didn't even flirt with them!
I was just alone, that's it. The fact that you're young, thin, and attractive to guys is always going to attract their attention unfortunately. I'd be careful about walking past questionable guys at night. I'd walk across the street to avoid shady looking guys or anyone who did or said anything to make me uncomfortable. I'd also always park near the place I'm at too and try not to walk anywhere alone.
So, why do you think guys do that, just stare at women? it's so weird! And creepy too. Even if a good looking guy that I liked stared at me, I'd find that to be to much too. Especially if all they did was stare w/o even trying to talk to me. And the fact that I was with my husband too made things even stranger.
I didn't mean to sound racist in my comments at all. I just edited my post as to not offend anyone. I was just pointing out that in some cultures, they don't think of certain behaviour as being rude, that's all.