Brains are weird, ya know, Sometimes trying to figure things out can just make things worse. It's like memory... the research says that when you actively recall a memory you also unconsciously change it as well. what I mean is, all this trying to figure stuff out may actually be perpetuating the whole thing, making it worse instead of better. Our thoughts can become our reality. Ruminating on something creates more of that very thing... it amplifies it.
You see a t right? talk to the t. It doesn't matter if what you say is the one and only absolute truth or not.