thanks, thats what i've been trying to tell myself Luce

i just recently started seeing a therapist again... on the 2nd i think.. seen her 2 times so far i think? but i cant remember much of anything that happened in them... besides the first time she was doing the evaluation and asked questions about stuffs.. cant remember much but im pretty sure she asked about abuse/sexual abuse and i tried my hardest to tell her the truth i think... its really hard to say anything about sexual abuse...

thats when she said i seem to be compartmentalizing... and talked a little about dissociation.. but i cant remember what she said

and the second time she told me those grounding things, and walked me through them and asked me how i felt and i just remember saying "spacey..." and we did it again and she asked and i said "quiet.. its all quiet" i didnt know how to put it into words the feeling.. but i felt like i just became highly hypnotic... and after she was like ok well try to do that stuff and see if it helps or something like that and moved on to other things and i just remember my voice getting far away... not sure if i said anything else the whole time, kind of feel like i didnt... but i must of, i feel so bad that i cant remember talking with her... i hope she doesnt get annoyed or frustrated with me because im so forgetful...

she seems nice though.. i dont really know much about her but i dont really feel threatened so im hoping i can learn to trust her :/

hoping i can stop disapearing when im talking to her too, sometimes i can hear myself say stuff that i know is not true and not really sure why, i mean i dont think its true when i hear it.. but who knows