Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
You come to (imo) a key realisation at the end of your post "It's not really about emailing but about our relationship". That seems to hold the intent behind emailing: you want to be close to her, draw her to you, maybe remind her (by emails popping into her mailbox and basically you popping into her life in-between sessions) of your presence or existence (so she doesn't forget you? to keep you in mind when you're not physically there?).
Emailing makes you dependent whereas T wants to foster independence. She wants you to dig this strength (which is in you) so you learn self-reliance + to self-soothe.
What she says re being present is, she wants the feelings 'live' or raw. If you've already sent them, it's no longer as...powerful. And makes for less effective therapeutic work.
I think you should try it - for your sake. The good thing is, she is not imposing. She's letting you set the pace but the ultimate goal is for you to soar...to spread your wings and fly!
She really seems to want the best for you.
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You wrote beautifully again, Rive. Thank you. I don't know what to say. Parts want to try again but other parts want to hold onto my T so tightly. I miss her during the week. You're right. I do want to keep popping up in her life though I know she won't ever forget me. I want her popping up in my life too. I like and love her so very much. It's very hard to let go even though it's only a week. My weeks go by quickly these days, but it's so nice to get that short email from my T. It will be hard to give it up and if I don't write, she won't, of course. That child part is sad about that.