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What dating sites have you been using?
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Historically, Ok Cupid has been my main focus as it has more of an appeal to Millennials, progressives, creative/muso types, geeks, educated types, etc. (i.e. more like me
), though I have kept profiles on Plenty Of Fish, and Tinder because that's what many use as well. Over the years I've tried a host of others including Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, FetLife, DateHookup, HerWay, Mingle2, etc. I've got a Match.com profile too but not a subscription. Nothing comes across on it and despite their claims of being big, Match has a
fraction of the matches that OkC or PoF has. I'm pretty much unworthy no matter where I'm at.
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Could it be that you come across as "too good to be true"?
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I doubt that. I've done okay with myself, but I'm not exceptionally blessed in any particular area. If anything, I don't feel like I'm good enough. Standards seem exceptionally high. Make $100k/yr.? Must be $400k/yr. Five-ten? Must be Six two. Bachelor's degree? Not a PhD. I'm not sure how anyone ever dates anymore. I'm doing pretty good for myself, but I'm not a 1%'er in much of any measurable dimension. Sorry for sucking so much.
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Not so much as a just a normal guy?
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I wouldn't say I'm a "normal guy" per se. I'm not a shambling murdering psychopath with a hook for a hand down by the pier (Phoenix has no piers for me to hide under), but I'm hardly the generic, no personality, no individuality guy that women complain about on forums. When you get advice about this stuff, it just drives me mad: "Don't be generic. You have to stand out from the crowd."; "Be as normal as possible, it's all about marketing mass appeal." Well, which is it?!
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You sound pretty much perfect ( except drinking in the past), could it be unattractive in a profile especially if women might suspect you are not real?
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No. I'm pretty sure they just see me as repulsive.
I've tried profiles of varied lengths.
I'm not much of a picture taker, and neither are my friends or family. I usually use around five or six: A few close up / head shots, maybe one with friends, one with family, one doing something I enjoy like a picture taken of me playing guitar live in my last band. Nothing is going to win any awards for photography, but at the same time, my pics are adequately clear and accurate to convey my visage.
Ha ha. No. Nothing like that. I'm 39 and while I go to the gym 3x a week and eat pretty well, I'm just a luckily trim and young looking guy for my age like Jared Leto or something like that (well, without the bats**t crazy... ha ha). Like the vast majority of people in the world, I'm not fitness competition ready. If that's what it takes to get a date, I guess I'm out. End the topic. I'm dying alone.
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Do you mind posting your profile or sending me a pm? I had someone once complained that they get no responses but when I saw their profile it totally explained why.
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Sure, give me a bit as I'll have to dig something up over the next few days. Honestly, I got utterly sick of the rejection and took most of them down.