When I woke up yesterday morning, the night table was askew, and my bottle of generic Tylenol was all over the floor. I had absolutely no memory of falling off my bed, but it happens a lot that I have to put my phone out of danger because I start falling asleep holding it.

So, now, I have fallen asleep sitting on the edge of my bed. The tizanidine and vistaril give me amnesia. Oh, great, now the janitor is playing with some new chemical whose fumes are just coming up now.

I'm supposed to go to the clinic today. I missed the past two appointments due to my phobia of the stairs. If I don't go today, it's likely they'll discharge me from being a patient there. I will have to go today and I'm just freaking out already because I don't know how I'll get back up. The only way is to force myself up, but I fell down on my knees the last time I did it. He might give me 10 gabapentin to hold me over until I get an appointment someplace else. I'm disgusted with them. That they put me in this position. I am disgusted and terrified.