You ever attempt direct communication?


In these scenarios that's what has worked best for me.


I explain exactly as you have here that I don't appreciate the tone of voice, I find it condescending or belittling, (which has been quite a trigger for my BPD) and can this person please change how they speak to me or we have to reconsider speaking at all...


You're right in that we teach people how to treat us, but sometimes some people don't learn very well by example, they need clear direction.