All I can do is cope.

I don't know if the problem is me. I have not had adequate medical treatment if I do have a MI.

I have tried to leave him many times, and I keep taking him back. He seems to be such a good man and I keep convincing myself it's all in my head.

My emotions run from love and contentment to wanting to escape and be free. But then there is guilt, fear, insecurity, and it's so obviously the logical choice to stay with him and control my emotions.

It's been an absolute battle from within! I really don't even understand why.

If this is really a PD, then that's what it is.

But today I feel content. And he has been a little better about our issue (which is him not initiating sex in a way that turns me on). Although, he is always only better about it for a few times right after a near divorce. Then he goes right back to his neglectful ways.

He's already started to go back to lazy, not pleasing me.

Yesterday, I gave him such a nice Father's Day. Sex and all that was pleasing to him-- and he did not reciprocate. So, it normally will be approx. a week before I crack up again as he will continue to neglect me. So this time, I just have to keep my mouth shut and stop this cycle.