DD,

If there is anything at all that you can do to get that 5 minutes of feeling better, my God, I would do it in a moment. So whatever you can do, I would encourage you to do.

I don't know why I can't "do" CBT, etc. Out of a "I won't say no to anything" moment early this morning, I visited David Lynch's Transcendental Meditation website. I don't know anything about TransMed and don't care to but one little scenario that was mentioned by a guy in the video introduction made me pause the video and and take a couple of minutes to think of myself (I changed the scenario around a bit) sitting in a small yellow boat on a calm blue ocean the perfect surrounding atmosphere and my eyes closed and I felt a little peace for a few minutes. Unlike CBT, where I can't stop thinking, I didn't think anything at all during that few minutes.

I've never been able to do something like that. I haven't tried again for fear that it was a fluke, that I was just lying to myself in feeling that peace.

I like that phrase, though (or rather, what it means): "manage my mental health." I think that I'm alone in doing that just now. I'm approaching a year of being on the same ineffectual psych meds and a year of therapy in which I've not progressed at all. I'm always willing to try one more thing before giving up, I think.

I'm going to read this thread again. I'm going to look for the shortest and most basic book on meditation that I can find. I can't reject the reality that things don't really look so great and that I'm not operating with any optimism but those few minutes were peaceful, even if just in my head (joke).

This is a good thread, something positive. Thanks.