Maybe you could demand payment for staying and stick around. Sure you'd be kinda prostituting yourself, but you can use the money to buy more knives and maybe even a soft squishy seat for your cool normal height toilet.

On a serious note, I'm sorry about your reverse eviction. I think you should stay, but I'm still suffering trauma from the Aniston/Pitt breakup. I'm sensitive to breakups so please, for my sake, stay

-signed a fellow quitter