Hey all,
I thought this would be a good place to ask about hyper-arousal since it’s a common symptom of PTSD. I suffer from chronic “fight or flight response” (as one article I read put it), and it’s making me kind of miserable. I get to the point I feel the need to defend myself at any cost, and I’m constantly looking for verbal/social danger in what people close to me say, even when they try and help. (Don’t get me started about when I’m around someone who makes offensive comments or jokes!) I live with my bf and I scan what he says for nuances of disrespect, denial, contempt, misinformation, etc. and have a hard time letting him get close. Partly this is due to how other people in my life, such as certain friends and family members have treated me (physical violence, emotional/psychological abuse, rape, victim-blame, etc.), because I don’t really have anyone else who is supportive. I’m also sensitive to what’s going on socially and politically in the U.S. (my country) and the world with different types of violence, prejudice, oppression and other forms of injustice.

Basically, I feel irritable/cynical a lot, or I feel sometimes unnaturally happy when I get a positive moment, but it’s unnerving because it could come crashing down at any second. My “flight”/anxiety causes me to feel like the walls are closing in, and I have literally braced myself in a doorway or huddled in my closet like there’s an earthquake or something. (Totally insane, right?) I’ve had episodes of derealization from it as well, which are not as hard to tolerate but make concentrating difficult, or prevent me from sleeping. Meditation isn’t for me, but I’ve tried the guided relaxation stuff on Youtube and apps, taken warm baths with good reading material, gone for walks in the woods or at the beach in the sun, cuddled my cat, baked cookies, made art projects and all kinds of other fun and relaxing things with less success recently. It’s not like I don’t want to help myself, but sometimes I just feel beaten down and stuck.

I see my therapist again tomorrow, but I wanted to ask about how other people get through their hyper-arousal. Sometimes I feel like the literature about this stuff is written by people who know about PTSD but haven’t experienced it, and so things like “progressive muscle relaxation” or “deep breathing” fall short. I mean if that stuff works for you then awesome, but for some of us it’s like trying to put out a fire with an eye-dropper. I guess what I’m asking about are specific things that help you all (who understand trauma first-hand), what has been successful in helping you chill the f out and think rationally instead of going zero/60 in a millisecond if you experience chronic hyper-arousal like me? Thanks!

Peace,
Sriracha

P.S. Sorry for the length.