Thanks again everyone. In a locked ward right now in a state hospital (allowed phones without chargers). Had 2 hours sleep. Waiting to see psychiatrist to be discharged to my normal hospital. A little more stable today as in I don't plan to die. Still feel hopeless, dead yet agitated and very low. Have no idea what my pdoc (at my usual private hospital)has planned but I NEED help. I can't live like this. Feel like everything has already been done. Like a failure.