I've had a lot of thought and ideas to go back to the habits and lose weight. I "vent" about it to my primary doc's email. He first found out about my bad eating habits through my emails. He can't really bring it up specifically at appointments because the address is not actually for patients to use. He will actually mention my habits to a point, but he also knows that I am uncomfortable discussing everything about them. He's sweet. I know he gets and reads my messages--and I think it really scares him that I still think like this. I know it concerns him. He saw the effect of my habits a year ago when I was last underweight. I had some really strong ideas about losing weight this past summer and I think he might have put something in the computer even about making sure staff *always* get a weight on me, LOL--even though it's standard procedure there and they are supposed to always do it anyway. You aren't alone, dear InACorner. I love to be sick as well. Yeah, we know it's wrong, but it's hard to help that feeling. You get that feel of it again. It's kind of addicting, we enjoy it so much. It's very hard to give up these habits and thoughts. You can PM or IM me anytime you want to talk. PM me if you want my messenger names. {{{{{{{{{{{{{InACorner}}}}}}}}}}}}}