Hi Jon,

I can understand where you are at. My wife of 25 years just told me she feels nothing towards me anymore and wants to move out. Our last child just graduated from high school and she feels it is the best that we go our separate ways. I love her deeply but have had a hard time showing it due to my PTSD from childhood abuse. I never purposefully set out to hurt her emotionally but now that I have accepted my past and am going to therapy for it, I can see the deep emotional hurt I have caused her. I am having panic attacks due to her leaving because it is bringing back the feelings of abandonment I grew up with. I don't know if she will stick with me. If she doesn't I am going to still try to overcome my depression. I cannot live like this anymore. I am 51 and want the rest of my life to be happy. I know, deep down, my wife wants that for me to. The only thing that irritates me about this is that she told me she cannot relate to my mental illness. She does not realize she is victimizing me just like anyone else that thinks depression and childhood sexual abuse should not be talked about and really does not affect a person at all.

I tried counseling with my wife too, and she still wants to leave. (Actually, the counselor made it worse.) It might just be she is incapable of understanding. Hang in there. Pay attention to wife every day. That is what I am going to do. Even if it irritates the crap out of her. Hopefully she will see that I still love her.