I have suffered with depression for a very long time. It comes and it goes. I don't know why I'm depressed but I'm tired of being depressed. I just want to die. Right now I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. I just wish something would happen & I die tonight. I'm tired of fighting this crap. When people ask me how's it going? I just want to scream and say I want to die. How the hell do you think I'm doing? but I always end up saying I'm fine. I just want people to leave me alone. I'm tired of being a burden to my wife. No matter how hard I try I can't convince her to go find someone better. I don't have it in me to be a jerk to her in order to drive her away.