I'm not feeling like this is the right fit for me these last couple of days. And it's not what anybody's done at all or anything. Idk, I feel if I say why I'm just gonna piss a lot of ppl off. I'm always like this. Trying to find ppl just like me, that have gone through what I've gone through. It'll never happen. So I just need to accept it. Who knows...

And I feel like I'm boring, like I annoy ppl. I used to be so different. Thinner, was always on the go. That psychosis ruined me in so many ways. But on the bright side I am losing weight. I still can barely move bc of my back, but I am eating way less. I just wish I was the way I used to be without the horrible ups and downs. But I miss hypomanias soooo much. So much. It s what it is...