Hugs to all who want them and nods to the non huggers.

I've been shedding tears at work again. Really struggling with internalised biphobia and societial homophobia. I'm ex Christian, atheist as heck but I keep obsessing over how a lesbian peer I know tried reparative therapy at my ex church. I keep struggling between making an appointment with a counseling organisation, or making an appointment for reparative therapy.

I'm so tired of Christians in my nation and online saying "love the sinner, hate the sin" and saying they don't hate LGBT but it's just that we're sinning.

I posted angrily on my facebook about an anti LGBT Christian pastor and how his rhetoric is fuelling my suicidal thoughts, and two Christian peers (the only people who responded to me) just ignored my anger and pain and leapt to say "not all Christians are like that" when I was specifically calling out just anti LGBT pastors in my nation.

Hurting a lot over how T said its pointless recruiting her as an ally against my internalised biphobia. I know she said it's OK to be LGBT but sometimes I get thoughts thinking I'm better off dead in this LGBTphobic society of mine.